"I'm really enjoying this marriage thing. You think about each other, you care about each other. It's wonderful. Plus, I love saying 'my wife'. Once I started saying it, I couldn't stop. 'My wife' this, 'My wife' that. It's an amazing way to begin a sentence."
- Jerry Seinfeld, in "The Wife" episode

"My wife has an inner ear infection. I like that." --Kramer